If you have been struggling to fall asleep at night, constantly thinking about your ex ever since a painful breakup or divorce, then you'll want to watch this video because in this video I will reveal five simple strategies that you can take today so that you can start falling asleep at night and stop thinking about your ex all day long so you can finally get that peace of mind you've been searching for and become happy again. I'm Dexx Williams, author of the rapid relationship recovery method and founder of helpheartbreak.com and I help individuals hurting after a painful breakup or divorce to regain their peace of mind so they can become happy and confident once again and finally stop thinking about their ex. And I've been helping friends and family members for years with their recovery from relationships using the information I learned after my own engagement fell through.
Now, with that being said, if this is your first time on my channel, welcome and make sure to hit the subscribe button so that you can get future updates with strategies, tips, and resources to help you with your recovery and make sure you stay until the end of the video. Because I'll reveal a limited time resource that you can get for free today to further help you with your recovery process so that you can get results faster and not have to give it time like so many people tell you to do. And it's pretty infuriating. A common situation that I often get approached about is someone who was in a longterm relationship or a marriage. It has come to a sudden abrupt end and now the person can't sleep the can't fall asleep. Their mind is constantly racing. They're either thinking about their ex, thinking about the relationship, what went wrong, what they could've done differently.
Maybe they're missing their ex, maybe they just have memories that they just keep replaying in their mind. And the end problem is the same for everybody. They just can't put their mind to rest and they don't want to turn to sleeping pills and they don't want to cope with other, you know, possibly self-harming substances like alcohol or drugs, but they just can't sleep and they're sad all day long and they want to know what they can do about it. So in this video, we're going to cover that. But first, here's a couple of things that I learned from my own experiences and from the advice I've given others that will help you to kind of wrap your head around what's going on. The first thing that I discovered was that most people who are struggling in this area are completely focused on their ex and their past relationship and they're not focused on themselves and their own future.
And when they're not focused on themselves and their future, the mind defaults back to the last kind of major important thing to them. And that was the relationship. So that's the first thing that needs to be addressed in order for you to finally get that peace of mind that you're searching for. The second thing that's really important to realize is that as humans, fear of loss is even greater in importance to us. Then the drive to gain something. So what does that mean? I want to imagine this situation. You are walking down the street and someone approaches you and they say they will give you $50,000 but you have to cut off your pinky finger. Now you might say, well that's ridiculous. I'd never cut off my pinky finger for $50,000 okay, what about $1 million? Someone says they're going to give you $1 million cash. If you cut off your pinky finger, would you do it right then and there?
Most people would probably say no. And why is that? Well, they've shown, studies have shown that as humans, we don't like to lose things that we already have. We don't like to lose limbs. We don't like to lose property. We don't like to lose our health or our money, right? So when it comes to our risk tolerance, we don't like to lose things. And that is why when we lose the friends and family members associated with our exes and if we lose our exes, it hurts and we don't like that feeling. We don't like to lose things. So that's another key factor to remember as we move forward as to why your mind is really stuck on this and keeps replaying it. It doesn't like to lose things and chances are what you're thinking about was very important to you. Friends, family, members of the exes, and of course the relationship itself, and that is why you're in this loop and that's one of the things we need to address.
Another thing to realize is there is a hormone in our bodies called cortisol. Now cortisol is the stress hormone and it rises when we feel stressed such as losing loved ones, family members, friends that we cared about or being stressed about, the unknown and the changes, how our life is about to become drastically different as a result of this stress hormone we'll have trouble falling asleep and staying asleep because our body's in this state of hyper vigilance, fight or flight. It believes that we need to be ready to take action at any moment and it's very hard to get rest when your body thinks something very dangerous or very threatening is at hand and we need to be able to react to it. So moving forward, we need to address all of these areas. We need to address the focus, we need to address the fact that we don't like to lose things and we also need to address the fact that our body feels like it's under attack and it can't relax.
So let's address them. But before I go any further do any of these areas relate to your situation? Leave a comment below if any of those three relate to what you're going through right now. Step number one, no contact or limited contact with your ex. Now, I recently recorded a video on jealousy and in making sure you can deal with any feelings of jealousy as it relates to your ex. And I'll post that video here as well as a link in the description below this video. But the key thing is you need to take the contact or reduce the contact as much as possible away from your ex. Why is this important? If we're talking about the stress hormone, anytime that you get a message from your ex, you see pictures of your ex or you hear stories of your ex and possibly moving on with their lives and moving into a new relationship, it's going to trigger that stress hormone.
It's going to cause a reaction in your body and that's going to make it very difficult for you to relax. Once again, you may have already experienced this before you saw their name pop up in a call display or a text message and all of a sudden your body, the stress rose, and I'm sure if you had a blood pressure monitor or a heartbeat monitor, you would have seen an increase in your body. That's not good. We need to remove that. If you ever want to be able to just un-stress or de-stress and fall asleep again, so that's the first one. Go check out that video for more details and more strategies on how to get like that. No contact system in place. Step number two, changing up your routine and habits. Now there is a good likelihood that in your past relationship you had some routines or habits that you and your ex typically did.
Maybe it was you know, a goodbye kiss at night or used to cuddle at night. Or when you would roll over in the morning, you would snuggle or you would make them breakfast or whatever it was. You got used to a certain familiarity and now that person is gone, so before you go to sleep, there's things that just feel different in your body. Your body knows that the routine is out of whack and it's hard for you to fall asleep as a result or on the opposite side of things, when you wake up in the morning, it hits you. It's like a gut punch and you know that person's no longer there and you're sad immediately because your routine is different. Maybe you used to always wake up and look at them or whatever it was. He'd wake up instead of a text message, or you'd wake up to a text message from them.
Whatever it is, your routines and your habits need to change. So if before you know, there used to be some good night texts or whatever, time to change it up. Maybe you read a book before bed, maybe you have a nice warm bath before bed, or when you wake up, maybe instead of, you know, texting somebody or maybe text a friend, or maybe instead you, you journal or you, you draw or you do something, do something different and create a new routine for yourself to get your body used to just doing something different. You're training your mind to the new normal, which leads to step number three, what I call the key three. So what are the key three? Health, wealth, and relationships. So what does this mean? Well, as I mentioned before, one of the reasons why many people struggle to fall asleep is because they're so focused on the past.
They're focused on what they lost. They're focused on their ex, they're focused on the friends and family members of their ex that they may no longer see again. So it's time to look at yourself and to start thinking about your future. So the key three means come up with three things that you want to focus on as it relates to wealth. Creating a budget for yourself, creating a savings plan for yourself. Maybe start learning something about financial elements, whether it's accounting or taxes or whatever it is, real estate, whatever it is. Come up with three goals for yourself in the wealth category that you want to start working on. Now what about health? Same rules. Three things in the health category. That's time for you to work on. Maybe it's your nutrition, maybe you've been eating a bit too much sugar and junk food. Maybe you wanna start eating a bit differently.
Maybe you want to have more vegetables. I don't know what it is. Or health also includes just physically taking care of yourself. So maybe you want to wake up and do exercise in the morning. Maybe you want to start going for long walks then at night, whatever it is, but come up with something in the health category that you want to focus on and relationships come up with three relationships that you want to rebuild or work on that have maybe taken a back seat during your past relationship. For example, reaching out to old friends you haven't seen in a while, reaching out to family members, maybe you haven't seen it in awhile or, and this is actually the most important one. Having that relationship with yourself and a lot of people neglect having that relationship with themselves in the fact of having a date night with yourself. Go out, get a nice book or a movie that you've been wanting to watch.
Grab a nice bowl of popcorn or a nice glass of hot chocolate or whatever it is. Sit up on the sit, you know, sit on the couch, sit on your bed and just have a night to yourself or go out, go to dinner, find a nice restaurant, dress up, get yourself done up and go to dinner by yourself and just enjoy your own company and your own mind. Right? It's important that you become comfortable just being in a relationship with yourself and treating yourself well so that you can make sure others treat you well should you get into another relationship in the near future. Step number four, physical exertion. So like I mentioned before with the health category, one of the things that you can do to help fall asleep late at night is to get your endorphins up, your endorphins. It's another hormone in the body and it's gonna help you make, help make you feel better and make you feel more positive and more happy, I guess you could say.
And it's gonna help counter the cortisol, that stress hormone that's going to make it very difficult for you to fall asleep and stay asleep without having bad dreams or waking up in a panic in the middle of the night. So what are some things we can do around this? Well, physical exertion that gets you breathing heavy and gets, gets you sweating. So maybe you go for a walk before you go to bed or you could also maybe play some music, some dance music and just blast that music. If you've got neighbors, maybe put some headphones on, but it's just some music that you enjoy that makes you happy and you can just dance, dance, dance, dance and get that heart rate going, breathing heavy and just get those endorphins rushing. Or maybe you're still in a state of anger. Maybe the way your relationship ended has got you pissed off.
Well maybe you find a punching bag, you start punching that. Or if you don't want to, you know, break a nail or something. Maybe you grab a pillow and just for 30 seconds at a time, just unleashing that pillow, hitting that pillow as hard as you possibly can for 30 seconds. Take 30 seconds and breathe, shake out your arms stretch and then punch that pillow again for 30 seconds. Scream, yell, get it out of you. Just get that stress level down and get those endorphins up and once again you will see that you will be able to fall asleep a lot easier and your mind will just start relaxing a bit more once you start doing this, which leads to step number five, avoiding electronics. Now, like I said, ideally you'll go for a walk or you'll, you know you'll dance whatever it is, but don't watch movies.
Don't look at your phone. Don't be surfing YouTube despite watching this video or whatever you need to stay off your phone. The reason being is the electronic devices is going to stimulate your mind and make it very difficult for your body to realize it's time to go to sleep. That bright light is going to keep your mind awake. Just like if you were looking at the sun at 12 o'clock in the afternoon, so minimal lights. If you have blackout curtains to block any sunlight, all that kind of stuff, it'd be good for you. So those five things, follow those five steps and you will see that you will be able to fall asleep a lot easier come nighttime. Now that being said, there's still a lot of other areas where you might be experiencing stress or still struggling to recover from your relationship, which is why I wrote the book, the rapid relationship recovery method and for a limited time I'm actually going to make it available for free for you to grab.
So click the link below this video in the description to get your copy of the rapid relationship recovery method book today to help you further your recovery from your relationship to get that peace of mind and regain that happiness that you've been searching for once and for all. If you liked this video, please hit the like button below and leave a comment with which steps you'll be putting into place tonight to start helping you fall asleep a lot easier. Also make sure you share this video with a family member or friend who could also benefit with some additional tips or advice so that they can fall asleep easier without being told to give it time for the next six months or 12 months because that's completely infuriating. Also make sure to hit the subscribe button and click the bell so that you get notified about future videos I release to help you with your recovery from your past relationship. In the meantime, I will talk to you soon.